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Things Do Not Happen TO You


Events happen. They can happen BECAUSE of us. Or they can happen AROUND us. But events do not happen TO us. Understanding this important distinction is the first step to taking control of our reaction to ALL events.


When an event happens in our lives, big or small, we assign meaning to it. We decide whether the event is positive or negative based on our beliefs. We decide.... it is our choice. So, if we have faulty, negative beliefs about ourselves and our place in life, we will choose to see the event as something that is happening TO us. This gives power over our emotions to others and external events.


So the next time an event happens or someone says something negative, stop and think, “This is not happening to me, it is just happening, and I choose the meaning I assign to it.”

If someone blows up and insults you, you can choose to internalize it, and let it validate your existing faulty beliefs or you can choose to see it for what it really is; It has everything to do with what is going on in that person’s life, not yours.


To insulate us from the negative events, the most important step actually begins with addressing the faulty beliefs about ourselves. Those can be changed too. It takes understanding of where they came from, the right set of tools, and practice.


There is no greater reward than watching people transform their lives when given the right tools. In our work, we are fortunate enough to watch people go beyond working through an issue, to the point of changing the way they think.


To the businesses and individuals who have entrusted us with this important journey Upstream, THANK YOU.


#emotionalintelligence #personalempowerment

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